Shards [Book Two] Page 19

  “It's unlikely, Miss DeChant. I have spoken to the Major's security system, using very short words, and explained the situation. It will allow us to continue talking for as long as we wish, then forget this happened."

  “That is wonderful, m'sieur! How do you do this?” I exclaimed.

  “That is very technical, Mademoiselle, and painfully boring. Let us work together on contacting Abigail, shall we?"

  “Certainly.” My joy was crushed at once though as the memory returned. “But I fear I have not performed my duties adequately. I have—"

  “Please, Mademoiselle. Although I can spend as much time as I wish, you may not have that time. I need you to relax and stare into the patterns I will make for you."

  His voice was most insistent, so I agreed and stared into the brilliant colors that swirled in front of me, and listened to the soft sounds that filled my ears.

  I WAS LOOKING RIGHT AT THE DOUBLE DOORS, THEN I SAW THE FLASH OF LIGHT. I HAD NEVER BEFORE SEEN ANYTHING BEYOND THOSE DOORS, BUT I KNEW INSTANTLY WHAT IT MEANT. IT WAS TIME TO GO. I STEPPED TOWARD THE DOORS, THEN WALKED OVER TO THE GIRL, WHO WAS STILL STARING OUT OF THE WINDOW.

  PULLING HER HANDS AWAY FROM HERSELF, I TURNED HER AROUND AND LOOKED IN HER EYES. SHE APPEARED STRICKEN WITH SADNESS, AS THOUGH SHE HAD LEARNED SOMETHING FROM THE LANDSCAPE BEYOND OUR LITTLE PURGATORY.

  “I MUST LEAVE NOW. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?"

  “YES. YOU ARE LEAVING ME ALONE. THAT'S ALL RIGHT. I'VE BEEN LEFT ALONE LOTS OF TIMES. IT'S NOT SO BAD, AFTER AWHILE."

  HER SIMPLE STATEMENT STABBED AT MY HEART. BUT IT WOULDN'T STOP ME.

  “NO, I AM NOT LEAVING YOU ALONE. MISS DECHANT WILL BE HERE SHORTLY AFTER I LEAVE. PLEASE, CAN YOU TELL HER SOMETHING FOR ME?"

  “I—I'LL TRY. I'M NOT VERY GOOD AT REMEMBERING WORDS."

  “THAT'S OKAY, I UNDERSTAND. I WANT YOU TO TELL MISS DECHANT THAT I FORGIVE HER. CAN YOU REMEMBER? IT'S VERY IMPORTANT. TELL MISS DECHANT THAT I FORGIVE HER."

  “TELL MISS DECHANT THAT YOU FORGIVE HER.” SHE THOUGHT ABOUT IT FOR A MOMENT, THEN NODDED. “YES, I CAN REMEMBER THAT.” SHE SEEMED HAPPY TO BE ABLE TO HELP. I SMILED AT HER SIMPLE HAPPINESS AND HUGGED HER, HOPING SHE WOULD NOT TAKE IT WRONG.

  SHE DIDN'T. SHE HUGGED ME BACK, AND I HAD AGAIN THE IMAGE OF A YOUNG GIRL. A YOUNG GIRL BEFORE THE NIGHTMARES. KISSING HER CHEEK, I TURNED AND WALKED TO THE DOORS. TAKING A DEEP BREATH, I PUSHED THROUGH THEM.

  IT WAS STILL BLACK: A TOTAL LACK OF LIGHT THAT RENDERED SENSE OF DIRECTION USELESS. I TURNED BACK TOWARD THE DOORS, BUT THEY WERE GONE. SO. NOWHERE TO GO NOW BUT OUT. I STARTED WALKING. I KNEW SOMEHOW THAT WHERE DIDN'T MATTER AS MUCH AS THAT I JUST DID. “I DON'T KNOW WHERE I'M GOING, BUT I'M MAKING GREAT TIME!” MADE A LOT OF SENSE TO ME.

  I HAD WALKED FOR ABOUT FIVE MINUTES WHEN I FELT TINGLING SENSATIONS INSIDE MY BODY. THEY FELT STRANGE AT FIRST, BUT QUICKLY BECAME UNCOMFORTABLE, THEN PAINFUL. THEY REMINDED ME OF ... OF...

  NO.

  THEY REMINDED ME OF MY RAPE.

  REALIZATION TOOK THE STRENGTH FROM MY LEGS, AND I COLLAPSED. AGAIN I FELT THE TOUCHING, THE HURTING, THE VIOLATING. I DIDN'T WANT TO GO ON ANY FURTHER. I WASN'T GOING TO GO ANY FURTHER.

  “Oh!” I felt a twinge deep inside me, a tugging I had never before experienced.

  “What is it, Mademoiselle?” Mike asked, his voice lifting gently over the soft sounds in which I was now swimming.

  “It is Abigail. I fear she has decided not to come."

  “Are you sure? How do you know?"

  “I'm not sure, and I do not know. I feel it. She is reliving my ... our ordeal."

  “I feared this. I'm sorry, but she must work through it. It is a part of her real life, and she must experience it to reclaim that life. Can you tell her that?"

  “I—I do not know, m'sieur Mike. But I shall try."

  THEIR HANDS! THEY WERE EVERYWHERE. MY HAIR WAS BEING PULLED AND TORN. I FELT A HEAVY BLOW ACROSS MY MOUTH AND TASTED SALTY BLOOD. I SCREAMED FOR MERCY, GAGGING ON MY BLOOD, BUT HEARD ONLY DERISIVE LAUGHTER. AND WORST OF ALL, I FELT THE TEARING, GOUGING SENSATIONS OF THE MOST CRUEL OF VIOLATIONS. I WANT TO GO BACK! I TRIED TO RETREAT AGAIN, WHERE NO ONE COULD EVER TOUCH ME. WHERE I NEED NEVER FEEL ANYTHING EVER.

  "BUT YOU DO NOT WISH TO DO THAT, MADEMOISELLE!” I HEARD A WOMAN SPEAKING TO ME IN FRENCH. “YOU WISH TO LIVE!” HER VOICE DROVE THE PAIN AND TOUCHING AWAY. THEY RETURNED ALMOST IMMEDIATELY, BUT NOT AS FIERCELY.

  “WHO IS THAT?” I CRIED OUT WEAKLY, ALSO IN FRENCH. “IS THAT YOU, MISS DECHANT?"

  I HEARD HER SOBBING, BUT SHE SPOKE, “OUI, ABIGAIL. PLEASE! IT IS TIME FOR YOU TO LEAVE. M'SIEUR MIKE IS LOOKING FOR YOU AND HE VERY MUCH WANTS TO FIND YOU.” HER VOICE BROKE OFF WITH A SCREAM AND I FELT THE SENSATIONS OF MY RAPE FADING. I CRAWLED TO HER VOICE.

  “WHAT'S HAPPENING TO US?” I SHOUTED INTO THE DARKNESS.

  “DO NOT THINK ABOUT IT, ABIGAIL. IT IS MY BURDEN. MY FAULT. PLEASE, GO TO MIKE!"

  “YOU'RE ALLOWING YOURSELF TO BE RAPED IN MY PLACE, AREN'T YOU?” SHE ANSWERED, BUT NOT WITH WORDS. HER CRIES AND CRYING SPOKE CLEARER THAN ANYTHING ELSE. I STAGGERED TO MY FEET AND STUMBLED AWAY FROM THE TERRIBLE SOUNDS. AHEAD, I COULD SEE A LIGHT, AND HEAR MIKE'S DISTANT BECKONINGS. MY LEGS WERE WEARY, BUT I HAD JUST ENOUGH STRENGTH TO...

  NO.

  THIS WAS NOT RIGHT. I LOOKED LONGINGLY AT THE LIGHT, THEN TURNED AWAY AND RAN BACK TOWARD MISS DECHANT AND HER ATTACKERS. FEAR STARTED BURNING INSIDE ME; THE PAIN RETURNED, AND WITH IT THE HUMILIATION. BUT I HAD MADE MY DECISION, AND CONTINUED ON. MISS DECHANT'S SOBS WERE VERY CLOSE. STAGGERING THE LAST FEW STEPS, I FELT MY FOOT TOUCH HER SIDE, AND I FELL ON HER. I WRAPPED MY ARMS, LEGS AND BODY AROUND HER AND PUT MY FACE CLOSE TO HERS. WE WOULD SHARE OUR MISERY AND OUR STRENGTH.

  INSTANTLY, THE FEELINGS FLOODED BACK. FILTHY, ANIMAL HANDS PAWED AT ME, TOUCHING WHERE THEY WISHED, POLLUTING MY BODY.

  “NO! ABIGAIL! YOU MUST GO! PLEASE!"

  “NO!” I SAID, THEN SCREAMED AS MY HEAD WAS SAVAGELY JERKED TO ONE SIDE AND I FELT A WET, VILE SENSATION ON ONE OF MY NIPPLES. MISS DECHANT'S MOAN OF ANGUISH MEANT SHE WAS FEELING THE SAME THING.

  SEPARATELY, EITHER OF US WOULD HAVE BEEN DESTROYED. TOGETHER, WE WOULD BE FOREVER MARKED. BUT WE WOULD LIVE. A LONG, LONG, TIME IT WAS THAT WE SHARED EACH OTHER'S AGONY AND HORROR. I CRIED AS I FELT OUR INTIMACY BEING RUTHLESSLY RIPPED FROM US, OUR SENSE OF WORTH BEING TWISTED AND DISCARDED. WE CLUNG TO EACH OTHER AND ENDURED. IT WAS A LONG, LONG, TIME.

  BUT IT PASSED.

  I SAT UP AND FELT FOR MISS DECHANT. SHE WAS GONE. OUR ATTACKERS HAD NEVER BEEN WITH US, ONLY THEIR HATE AND THEIR DEEDS. BUT THEIR SHADOWS WERE GONE NOW, TOO, HAVING FAILED TO RUIN ME. TO RUIN US. I WAS IN HER DEBT, AS SHE WAS IN MINE. I HAD BEGUN A RELATIONSHIP WITH ONE OF MY OWN RIPES.

  I STOOD UP AND BEGAN WALKING IN THE DIRECTION OF MY ESCAPE. THE PAIN NO LONGER ATTACKED ME BECAUSE IT WAS A PART OF ME NOW. I CONTINUED WALKING STEADILY, FEELING MY TEARS FLOWING DOWN MY FACE AND MY STOMACH CHURNING WITH GRIEF OF MEMORY AND ANTICIPATION OF FREEDOM. BY NOW, MISS DECHANT WOULD BE AWAKENING IN THE WAITING ROOM. SHE WOULD HAVE LITTLE EMOTION, FOR THE PLACE WAS UNREAL AND OUTSIDE TIME. I HOPED THE GIRL REMEMBERED THE MESSAGE. THEY WOULD BE WELCOME WORDS FOR MISS DECHANT. THE LIGHT WAS VERY CLOSE NOW, AND I COULD HEAR MUSIC. IT WAS FINALLY, FINALLY, TIME. TAKING A DEEP BREATH, I CLOSED MY EYES

  then opened them again. I was facing a simple terminal that had lights and sounds emanating from it. The feeling of success warmed me.

  “Mike?” I whispered.

  “Oui, Mademoiselle?” I understood that much, but then he went on to say something else in French that I couldn't understand.

  “Steady on, Mike. I hope worry hasn't driven you around the bend."

  “ABIGAIL! YES!” he screamed. I looked around quickly. A small room with bath. I hope it had sound shielding on. Lots and lots of it. “OH! YES! YES! YES!"

  “Whoa! Can it, kid! I've got a lot of catching up to do. You wouldn't believe what I've been through.” The memory of everything came flooding back, and the churning in my stomach became uncontrollable. Lurchin
g up from the stool I was on, I ducked into the bathroom and only just made it to the shower in time to be violently ill. I started sobbing. I turned on the shower full blast and tore at my clothes. The quickly soaked cloth was difficult to take off, but I frantically pulled at it until it came free, covering the drain in a sodden lump. I twisted and turned in the shower for a long time, washing my dirty body over and over, crying the whole time. When my arms were too tired to continue, I sank down and huddled against the shower wall and let the water pour down on me. I was consumed by sadness and hate and a repulsiveness of being. The water puddled and pooled around me.

  “Abigail?” Mike's soft voice came from the wall beside me. I saw the image start to come in, and I panicked.

  “Don't look at me!” I cried hysterically. “Do you hear me? Don't look at me!"

  “I won't. Please talk to me, Abby. I—I love you and want to help."

  Crying and sobbing, I told him what had happened. As I spoke, I noticed the lights growing dim, and the conditioning unit shuddered several times. I began feeling better, knowing that Mike was a best friend, an intimate one, and I could trust him. I grabbed onto that trust and had enough strength to continue talking.

  He was very quiet while I spoke and after I finished. So quiet I thought I had lost him.

  “Mike?"

  “Forgive me, Abby. I—I didn't think.” His voice was very restrained, very calm. I'd never heard him speak like this before. “Take as much time as you need to wash that filth away. Tell me as soon as you're ready. We have to get you out of here, before Deiley comes back. Alan says he'll spot you the second he sees you, and I believe him."

  I nodded. “All right. I feel a little better now. Just let me have a few more minutes, please?"

  “Yes. You don't have to ask, Abigail. I'll keep you safe. I'm contacting Susie and the Twelfth now. We've been waiting for this moment, and they're ready to start the diversion within five minutes of my telling them you're back. I'll put them on alert."

  “Wait.” Being given this information seemed to do wonders for me. It shifted my attention from my inside problems to my outside ones. Ones I could deal with. “A diversion? Why? Am I still on the base where they took me?” I almost said, ‘Where Miss DeChant took me,’ but knew it was totally unfair.

  “Yes.” He paused, as if weighing the wisdom of telling me more. No, it wasn't “as if"; that's exactly what he was thinking.

  “Knock it off, Mike. It hurts. It hurts more than you can know. But I'm still Abigail. Give it to me straight."

  “You got it!” He sounded relieved, having the decision taken from him. “You, or Miss DeChant rather, have been the base commander's private housekeeper for twenty-two days. The good news is that he has treated you properly.” He paused for a fraction of a second. “Reviewing his duty logs, I see he even killed the corporal whose squad ... whose squad..."

  “Raped me. Go on."

  “The bad news is, he's no fool and has been keeping a close eye on you. Every system in his house is monitoring you for any change outside Miss DeChant's normal behavior patterns. They are to lock down and notify him at once should anything unusual happen. I've got most of these systems tagged into an ‘all safe’ loop, including all the ones in your quarters. He really has given you privacy here. But he's got a half dozen completely independent systems that I can't access. Step out of this room and the flag goes up."

  “Whee. Anything else?"

  “Yeah. His house is in the middle of the primary NATech compound, the largest in this region. It's two kilometers to the nearest safe egress."

  “And the purpose of this diversion?"

  “What else?” He shrugged with his voice. “They want to draw as many personnel away from you as they can, then come in on the other side."

  “No phase hovs?"

  “Mine fields."

  “And they really think it will work? It probably will. On everybody except the one person they want most to fool."

  “Major Deiley,” Mike answered. “I think you're right. I've studied him in the last week, and there's an eighty-six percent chance he'll identify the diversion for what it is and come directly here to the real fight. You're right Abby, that's what he'll do. But what else can we do?"

  “Give me a minute.” I rose from the shower floor and shut off the water. I didn't need it anymore. My sense of self-worth was returning, and with it my drive to escape. I would be dealing with this for a long time, maybe the rest of my life. But it would not control my life.

  I dried off, carefully not looking into the mirror, then went through Miss DeChant's belongings to find suitable clothing.

  There wasn't any. All she owned were three very modest dresses, the nightgown I had ruined, and some odds and ends of underthings. Selecting the plainest dress and the only pair of shoes that she owned, I readied myself. At least the clothes were made for my body. I found a couple of ribbons and ponytailed my hair to keep it out of the way. By the time I had finished, I had worked out a possible plan. I sat down at the terminal.

  “Access. Abi...” I began.

  “No!” Mike shouted back. “You can't do that, Abby! That'll blow it for sure! I can worm through to you, but Deiley's got enough security on this system that you absolutely can't access other than as Miss DeChant."

  This was not good. “All right then, Mike. What was Miss DeChant's access level?” Maybe I could work something out from there.

  “It's sublevel three minus."

  And maybe I couldn't work out something from there. Newborns were given sublevel three minus. Even four years olds were up to sublevel one minus. Major Deiley was not a trusting soul.

  “All right, then. That's closed off. Okay, let me think.” I folded my hands in front of my mouth and steepled my forefingers and pinkies. I was restricted to this room and my bathroom. The doors and windows were tripwires for the independent security systems, and I had no access to the puterverse. But Mike did.

  “Mike, is there any way to cloak me to fool the systems into thinking I'm Miss DeChant? Once I got outside, I could..."

  “Nope. They're too sensitive to be fooled by a holocloak, Abby. Granted, I wouldn't have to cloak too much, just a few minor motions that might be out of keeping for Miss DeChant. But they would pick up the field. Even if I could fool them, they'd know that Miss DeChant is never up this late except to serve Deiley."

  “What if you put through a call as Deiley, granting me access to the house? Maybe we could say he needs me to go where ever he is right now."

  “Again, nope. At least, I doubt it. My first thought was to fake Deiley, then shut down the systems. But the same indies that we're trying to get around are the same ones he codes to. And without his codes, I wouldn't be able to mimic him well enough to fool them. They're not as smart as me, but they're not morons, either.

  “And what puts the real nail in that idea is that from what we've gathered, Miss DeChant has never left the house.” He swore quietly. “Now I know why. She's terrified of being caught out in the open among men."

  That I could understand perfectly. There was a pleasant coziness and quiet femininity that cloaked this room, a kind of haven from all that lay outside. And with Major Deiley protecting the house so well, I could see how Miss DeChant may have reasoned that this was the safest place ... of course! The safest place, provided Major Deiley was here. Here to protect Miss DeChant.

  “Mike, I've got the answer. We want out, right?"

  “Well, duh."

  “Smart ass. But we don't want Deiley finding out. Does Deiley keep an energy weapon, and is it charging right now?"

  “Checking. Uhhh ... no. He's got a couple of energy weapons, but he keeps them fully charged."

  “That's not surprising. Okay, how about the access channel and power feed couplings? Are they running on gig one or gig three lines?"

  “Gig three. Why? You want me to overload them? What would that do?"

  I pulled the ribbons out of my hair and told him what it would do.
>
  * * * *

  “Major?"

  Major Deiley looked up at the nervous private that stood rigid beside the card table. He sighed at the young man's obvious fear. Deiley demanded respect, but fear when it was unwarranted irritated him.

  “Yes?” Major Deiley said harshly. “What is it, private?"

  “Sorry to disturb you, sir, but there's a Miss DeChant on terminal, asking for you. She's pretty upset."

  Frowning, Deiley folded his cards and placed them in a neat pile. This was unusual, Miss DeChant calling so late; she was normally in bed by this time. He looked at his two companions, one the base commander of the compound he was visiting.

  “I'll bid up to thirty-seven, gentlemen, and call diamonds trump. If either of you can outbid that, please do, and we'll play the hand when I return."

  He went into the privacy of the next room and called up the terminal. Miss DeChant's face appeared. Her hair was down and somewhat tousled. She was upset. He heard a whine in the background and knew what the problem was immediately.

  “Major? I—I woke up a few minutes ago, and heard this loud whistle. It has gotten worse only now. I'm sorry about interrupting you, but I thought...” her voice trailed off uncertainly.

  “That's quite all right, Miss DeChant. What you're hearing is a gig wire overload. Listen carefully. I want you to quickly exit the house and get at least 100 meters clear. I will shut down the alarm and restriction fields from here."

  “Oui, I—I mean, yes, Major. I thought you might ask that. I took the liberty of dressing first."

  “Very good. Now, please...” The terminal suddenly went blank. The wire must have overloaded completely and cut their circuit. The emergency bypass would return power in a moment, but he hoped the home's power reservoir hadn't exploded. He felt a sudden twinge of worry. He'd grown to appreciate Miss DeChant, and had also come to care for her. The screen flickered on, very much dimmer than earlier, and Major Deiley's fears were confirmed. The reservoir had exploded.

  “Miss DeChant?” He could no longer see her. There was a considerable amount of dust her room, and the lights were flickering. “Miss DeChant!"