Shards [Book Two] Read online

  “Did you lose the signal?"

  “Yeah, I see it picked up a crack during the fight. Water must have leaked in. Doesn't matter. I got most of the message.” He continued messing with the headset.

  “So?” I said expectantly.

  “Sorry. That was Corporal Gibbons. He said they'll be back in five minutes, and we should report back immediately. That's when it cut out.” He looked down. “What about these three?” He paused. “And wasn't there a fifth one?"

  “Uhhh ... yeah, there was. I don't think he'll be bothering us.” His eyes widened a bit, so I hurried on. “As for these guys, two of them will be out another hour or so. And this one...” I let my voice trail off. The wounded man looked at me.

  “Hey, I'm no coward, but I'm not an idiot either. I'll fight you for a paycheck, but getting killed makes it hard to spend ‘em."

  “At least your living expenses would go down. Come on. We'll get you fixed up at the hov, then put you out for an hour or so.” He nodded, then grimaced from the pain. We tossed their weapons off into the darkness and picked up the wounded man.

  We headed back to the hov. Charles took most of the man's weight, with me helping as best I could. We walked in the darkness and growing thunderstorm. Maybe I overdid it just a bit, bringing down the Anchorage, Seattle and Idatana weather nets. Mother Nature was loose and flexing her muscle.

  We hadn't gone too far—this guy was big—when we heard the high whine of approaching skimmers above the pounding rain. I hoped everyone was safe. I wondered if there were any ripes. I hoped so. I wasn't worried about sharding. Not in this kind of environment when seeing ripes. It was the combination of seeing a lot of them in a hostile environment, or seeing a ripe that was very similar to a previous ripe of your own that could cause a sharding episode, and even then it was rare.

  By the time we reached the hov, the first four of them were pulling up. Two of them were riding double. So there had been some ripes they were able to get out. I could tell they were both women, maybe twenty or twenty-five years old. They were both staring around, as though in a daze. They each wore uniforms, but from their bagginess it was easy to see the uniforms didn't belong to them.

  I heaved up under the man's arm, holding him around his waist. We staggered on. No one had seen us yet. We were just stepping into the light.

  “Uh, people?” I called out. They all turned and looked. “Kudos all around and everything, but could we get a little help here?” Two of them came over and took the man. I straightened and walked up to the ramp. I heard a scuffle behind me and turned.

  Both of the girls were clinging to the men that had carried them. One had partially slipped out of her borrowed uniform and showed a lot of shoulder. They were pleasure ripes: creatures whose minds had been riped to obey the whims of whomever owned them. Obviously embarrassed, the men were trying to peel them off.

  “Please! Look, this isn't right, uh, miss.” Gregg Wagner sounded both flustered and flattered by all the attention. I laughed.

  “Well, Gregg! Quite the ladies man, aren't you?” The girl looked at me.

  “Abigail!” Gibbons voice was sharp. I jumped at his tone and turned around. He was staring. “What are you doing here? Didn't you hear my message?"

  “Sorry, Corporal, no. I lost my headset, then Jamison, here,” I jerked a thumb at him and turned back to smile at him, “broke his like a rookie.” Jamison smiled sheepishly, and I winked at him to let him know I was just kidding.

  The two girls were now close to me. They were on their knees, still clinging to the men who were trying to get on board. I could hear the nearest one pleading with Wagner. The other one just sobbed quietly.

  “Please, let me be with you. I'll be good! I'll always be good. You can do whatever you want. Just please...” The second one started making similar pleas.

  I felt my blood rush to my face. There was a roaring in my ears, and I was suddenly dizzy. What was happening to me? My knees gave way and I slumped against Charles. He took me by the shoulders and looked into my eyes.

  “Abigail! Are you all right? What's wrong?"

  For no reason, I smiled and held him close.

  “Nothing's wrong. What would you like me to do? Can I take off this stuff and cuddle with you?” I started to take off whatever it was that I was wearing. I heard a high sound and saw some lights getting close. The lights were pretty.

  “Abigail? What's wrong with you?” said the man holding me.

  I was scared. “Is there something wrong with me? I'm sorry. Tell me what it is and I'll get better. Please, let me have another chance.” I started crying and dropped to my knees to hug him. He jumped back.

  “Oh! Please let me make it up!” I cried. “I'm sorry! I'll be good. I promise."

  NO! WHAT'S HAPPENING TO ME? I ... I CAN'T CONTROL...

  Some other man took me by my shoulders and picked me up. He was very big. I looked into his eyes and smiled at him. Was he my new owner?

  “Wyeth! Snap out of it! What's wrong with you?"

  “Why is everybody telling me there's something wrong?” I wailed. “I'm sorry, I'll be good. You can punish me, if you want. I even like it, if you do. Or you can..."

  Someone else held me, but this time it was a pretty lady. She was sad and mad. I knew because I could tell.

  “Oh, no! She's sharded! Why didn't you get her away before we got back? We called through ten minutes ago!” she said with a mad voice.

  I'VE SHARDED? OH, NO! AS WHO? TERROR FILLED ME.

  “We tried to get through but...” said the man in the big floating thing.

  “We both lost our headsets in the skirmish,” said the man who I wanted to hold me. I smiled at him, but he didn't see. I'd try later. “I'm sorry, Sergeant, we didn't know."

  “All right!” said the big man. “We'll get her home and take care of her there. Let's mount up! We're going to have company soon. Treat that wounded soldier and give him a two-hour nap. We bug out in three minutes! Kate, take Abigail's station on the terminal. See if you can get her puter pal to help us. Sarah, can you take Abby?"

  “Just try and stop me.” said the big, pretty girl holding me. She looked down at me. Her eyes were wet, but she smiled.

  “Come on, Abigail. Let's get you on board.” She tugged me onto the big floating thing. All the people looked sad. I wondered why.

  MY HEAD HURT SO MUCH, IT WAS IMPOSSIBLE TO THINK. WHY WAS I ACTING LIKE THIS? WHY WAS I THINKING WHAT I WAS THINKING? I DESPERATELY WANTED ANSWERS, BUT IT WAS SO HARD TO THINK.

  “Okay,” I said and was happy. Maybe she was going to be my new owner. “I want to make you happy."

  She looked at me, then helped me find a seat. It was hard. Then she took off my big clothing. Then I started to take off the rest of my clothes, but she stopped me, grabbing my wrists. I looked up at her, not knowing what she wanted.

  “Didn't you want me to undress for you?"

  Her face got red. “NO! I don't want you to undress ... just what kind of girl are you?” she asked. So I told her, and her face got even redder and she got madder.

  DID I JUST SAY THAT OUT LOUD? I DON'T FEEL GOOD. SHUT UP! SHUT UP!

  “Do you know what we're going to do now?” she asked me. I giggled and shook my head. I'd be happy to tell her what I'd like to do now. It didn't matter

  NO! DON'T YOU DARE THINK THAT! DON'T YOU DARE!

  I TRIED TO FIGHT OFF THE THOUGHT, BUT WAS COMPLETELY HELPLESS. WHOEVER I WAS NOW HAD TOTAL CONTROL OF US.

  to me whether she was...

  “We're going on a little ride. Under the ground. We're going to do something called phasing. Do you know what that is?” I thought about it, then shook my head. I reached out my hand to touch her leg, but she slapped my hand real hard, making it tingle and feel good. She looked at her hand and looked sad. Then she shook her head like she was mad.

  “What the hell are you doing, Sarah?” said the big man. “You don't have to be so rough!"

  “I—I'm sorry, Sarge,” said the big girl. Her
name was Sarah. “I don't know why, but I had an uncontrollable urge to hit her.” I reached for her again and she looked at me. Her eyes said she wanted to hit me, and I was happy. But then I was sad because her eyes stopped saying that and she took my hand.

  “Stop that, Abigail. I want you to behave."

  “I am behaving! I like being good. Are you my new owner?"

  “No! Uh, no, I'm not! Oh, Abby!” She held me close, but didn't seem very happy. Maybe she was sad that she didn't own me. The big man stepped up behind her.

  “Take your seat, Sarah. We're bugging out in one minute.” The big door went up and closed and the big man sat down. The pretty girl let me go and put straps and buckles on me. I knew she wanted me to stay in my chair. I knew that because she put straps and buckles on me.

  “We're going on that ride now, Abby. I'll sit right here. You're going to feel heavy and everything will look different and strange, but don't be scared. I'll be here.” She sat on a seat behind me and put her hands on my shoulders. The big thing jerked and moved and we all went on a ride. It was very scary.

  * * *

  Chapter Two

  The next three days were very confusing. No one wanted me to play with them, at least,

  THE NEXT THREE DAYS WERE VERY CONFUSING. THE ... THE ... IMMORAL CREATURE THAT WAS NOW ME SO CONTROLLED ME THAT I WAS UNABLE TO EVEN BEGIN TO EXERT MY TRUE SELF. INSTEAD,

  not the way I wanted to play, the way I was made to play. They kept me in a bedroom, but would only talk to me.

  I HAD TO WAIT OUT THE SHARDING EPISODE, SHARING HER WICKED THOUGHTS AND PRAYING SHE WOULDN'T EMBARRASS ME IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS. A PRAYER THAT WAS ANSWERED WITH A RESOUNDING NO, SADLY. SHE HAD NO INHIBITIONS, AND WAS EXTREMELY OPEN ABOUT WHAT SHE WAS. BUT THOUGH SHE CONSTANTLY FLAUNTED HERSELF IN FRONT OF MY FRIENDS,

  The talking was hard and I got tired of talking very fast and just let them talk. They seemed to have a lot to say. But since they were almost all girls, I didn't think about what they said. All my owners had been men, which was nice, so unless I was told not to, I would think about

  THEY WERE MY FRIENDS. INSTEAD OF SEEING ME AS THE, AS THE ... AS THE PLEASURE RIPE I HAD SHARDED INTO, THEY TALKED TO ME AS A SICK FRIEND, ONE THEY HOPED AND EXPECTED WOULD GET BETTER. I ONLY WISHED SHE WOULD PAY ATTENTION TO THEM! IT WAS SO FRUSTRATING, LISTENING WITH BURNING INTEREST TO WHAT WAS GOING ON, ONLY TO HEAR THEIR CONVERSATION TURN INTO BABBLE AS SHE LOST INTEREST. UNFORTUNATELY, I WAS SUCH A PASSIVE PRESENCE THAT ANYTHING SHE TUNED OUT I ALSO COULDN'T HEAR. FORTUNATELY, SHE DID HAVE SOME INTEREST IN RAUL AND DR. BARRETT, THE ONLY TWO MALES ALLOWED TO SEE ME LIKE THIS. AND AFTER SUSIE LOST CONTROL AND STRUCK ME—HER, RATHER—EVEN THOSE VISITS WERE RESTRICTED.

  men. But there were two men that did talk to me a lot. One even looked at my body sometimes. At first I thought I would like it, but he only wanted to see if I was healthy and not sick. I only got to undress for him once, and my Susie was there, but we still didn't do anything. I don't think he wanted to anyway. So after a while I didn't listen too much to him, too. But I did listen to the other man, because he kept telling me how proud he was of me and how I could get all better. He wouldn't touch me. I said I wanted him to and then my Susie got mad and hit me. Then he got mad at my Susie and then my Susie said she was sorry, but I told her it felt nice and she got sadder and then I thought she would hit me again, only she didn't. He never hit me, but he made me feel nice with his kind words. Deke would sometimes talk to me after he had made love to me and beaten me. But this man talked nice without beating me, which was too bad but anyway I liked him almost as much as I liked my Susie.

  THE ONLY OTHER PERSON SHE LISTENED TO WAS SUSIE, WHOM SHE BELIEVED WAS HER OWNER. I WAS TERRIFIED THE FIRST NIGHT AFTER WE GOT BACK. SHE WANTED TO SLEEP WITH SUSIE, AND NOT JUST FOR COMFORT.

  My Susie was a nice lady and she was my owner. I think. Only maybe she wasn't my owner like Deke. I think she was my owner like Stays and Cut. Only maybe she was like Deke. I liked men, but she was my owner, so I liked her now, too. She didn't want me and after the first night, put a thing I couldn't see around my bed that hurt if I got out of bed. It hurt a lot and made me feel pretty and was almost as much fun as going to my Susie. I kept trying to hold the field because it made my body all tingly and hot and hurt. But then my Susie got scared and mad and turned it into a thing that didn't hurt anymore, but kept me away. Maybe she wanted to punish me, which was what I wanted if she did.

  FORTUNATELY, SUSIE KEPT HER AT ARM'S LENGTH THE FIRST NIGHT, THEN SET UP A MILD SOUNDING FIELD AROUND MY BED SO THE GIRL—SHE HAD NO NAME—WOULD STAY PUT. I FIGURED THAT WOULD BE THE END OF IT, BUT NO. I THEN HAD TO LIVE WITH HER THOUGHTS OF PLEASURE OVER BEING PUNISHED. SHE KEPT PRESSING HER BODY AGAINST THE FIELD, GIVING HERSELF A CONSTANT SHOCK. WHEN SUSIE DISCOVERED IT, SHE RESET THE FIELD TO NON-PUNITIVE AND THE GIRL LOST INTEREST. IT WAS HARD TO BELIEVE THAT ANY CREATURE COULD BE SO CONSUMED BY PLEASURE. AND I HAD ONCE BEEN THAT CREATURE. RATHER, I HAD ONCE BEEN COMPLETELY SUBMERGED WITHIN HER.

  The best part of the day was when they let me leave my room. My Susie or the nice man or sometimes the man who looked at me to see if I was healthy would take me out. But we never saw anyone. They let me play on the bars and mat, but told me I had to stay dressed, which I didn't want to. But then my Susie said she liked it, so I wanted to, too.

  WE WENT OUT DAILY TO THE EXERCISE AREA TO WORK OUT. THOUGHTFULLY, THE AREAS WERE ALWAYS CLEARED. ONLY SUSIE, RAUL AND DR. BARRETT SAW ME IN THIS CONDITION OUTSIDE MY ROOM. I THINK SARAH DID, TOO. I NEVER SAW HER, BUT I HAD THE IMPRESSION FROM THE OTHERS THAT SHE STOOD FAITHFUL GUARD AT THE ENTRANCE TO KEEP OTHERS FROM STUMBLING ONTO ME. THE GIRL LIKED GOING OUTSIDE THE ROOM BUT WOULD BE VERY RESISTANT TO EXERCISE, UNTIL SUSIE TOLD HER SHE LIKED SEEING HER SWINGING AND STRETCHING. I KNEW IMMEDIATELY THAT SUSIE WAS TALKING TO ME RATHER THAN THE GIRL. THE BEST WAY TO END A SHARDING EPISODE WAS TO INTRODUCE ASPECTS OF MY LIFE BACK INTO MY LIFE. AND THIS LITTLE TROLLOP HAD BEEN RIPED OF MOST OF HER INTELLIGENCE AND WAS QUITE TRUSTING, OR GULLIBLE, I DIDN'T KNOW WHICH. I COULD NOT FOR THE LIFE OF ME UNDERSTAND HER APPEAL. IN FACT, THERE WAS A QUALITY ABOUT HER THAT SEEMED TO BRING OUT ANGER AND LOSS OF CONTROL IN PEOPLE, WHICH WAS WHY BOTH SARAH AND SUSIE HAD BEEN ROUGH WITH HER. WHY A MAN WOULD BE INTERESTED IN SUCH A SHALLOW—AND POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS—THING WAS BEYOND ME. I KNEW THAT AS A MAN, I'D CERTAINLY NEVER BE INTERESTED IN A WOMAN LIKE THIS.

  BUT SHE WAS TO BE PITIED AS MUCH AS ANYTHING ELSE. NOT ONLY WAS SHE HELPLESS TO HER NATURE AND LUSTS, SHE HAD BEEN RIPED TO THINK ONLY THESE THOUGHTS, TO GIVE ONLY THESE SERVICES. I ALMOST CRIED FOR HER. TO BE CAUGHT IN SUCH A HORRIBLE LIFE. I KNEW—INTIMATELY—ALL THREE OWNERS THAT HAD USED THEN ABUSED HER DURING HER SHORT LIFE. THROUGH IT ALL, SHE HAD FAITHFULLY PERFORMED HER HIDEOUS DUTIES, UNAWARE THAT SHE HAD ANY VALUE BEYOND THE MOMENTS OF PLEASURE, WHETHER SOFT OR CRUEL, THAT SHE AFFORDED HER TWISTED OWNERS.

  SHE WASN'T EVEN A REAL PERSON. SHE HAD NO SOUL, BUT INSTEAD “BORROWED” MINE. THAT MADE ME THINK, WHICH WAS ALL I COULD DO NOW ANYWAY. WAS I RESPONSIBLE FOR THE SINS OF THIS WOMAN, THIS MAN-MADE CREATION? AND WHAT OF THE OTHER PERSONALITIES THAT HAD OCCUPIED MY SOUL AGAINST MY WISHES FOR ALL THESE CENTURIES? I SPENT MANY HOURS PONDERING THIS, ESPECIALLY AT NIGHT, WHEN SHE WAS ASLEEP AND MY MIND WAS CLUTTERED ONLY WITH HER DREAMS AND NOT HER WAKING THOUGHTS. BUT EVEN THAT TIME WAS LITTLE SOLACE, FOR HER DREAMS WERE VERY VIVID AND VERY DARK. HER LIMITED AND RIPED CAPACITIES SAW THE WORLD QUITE DIFFERENTLY FROM ME. DURING THE DAY, SHE SIMPLY BABBLED WHATEVER THOUGHT OR EMOTION CAME TO HER, INCREDIBLY PATIENT WHEN LEFT ALONE, AND EVER ATTENTIVE WHEN PAID ATTENTION. BUT AT NIGHT, THE HAUNTING ILLUSIONS OF A WOMAN UNFULFILLED, A LIFE WASTED, WOULD TOUCH THE CORNERS OF HER/MY SOUL, AND TUG AT IT, MAKING THE ABYSS WE WERE TRAPPED IN JUST THAT MUCH DEEPER, THAT MUCH CRUELER. IT WAS AS WELL, I THOUGHT, THAT HER RIPERS HAD GIVEN HER THE MIND OF A SIMPLE CHILD.

  IT WAS ON THE FOURTH DAY

  that my body was given back to me, although she was still with

  I PROMISE I'LL BE GOOD! PLEASE, LET ME BE ME AGAIN! I'M S
CARED!

  me somehow. I couldn't hear her, nor did she control my actions, but I somehow sensed her. Maybe she had somehow known I was in the background earlier, though she gave no indication of such knowledge, nor

  WHO IS THAT TALKING? WHY DOES SHE HAVE MY BODY? I'M CONFUSED! I WAS DREAMING, I THINK, AND THEN I FELT TINGLY IN A SAD WAY. PLEASE HELP ME! I'LL BE GOOD! I'LL BE VERY GOOD. JUST DON'T LEAVE ME LIKE THIS!

  had she said anything. And her thoughts had been open to me, as mine probably were to her now. It was a frightening thought, that she could come back

  WHY ARE YOU SCARED OF ME? I'M A GOOD GIRL. PLEASE, LET ME MAKE YOU FEEL BETTER. I PROMISE I'LL MAKE YOU LOVE ME. WHY DON'T YOU ANSWER? ARE YOU MAD AT ME? CAN YOU EVEN HEAR ME? I CAN HEAR YOU, BUT NOT WITH MY EARS. I DON'T UNDERSTAND! HELP ME, I'M SCARED!

  at any time. After my last sharding episode, when I had shut down physically and taken on the persona of a building maintenance computer, it was several days before brain scans showed that the false persona had completely receded.

  I woke up that fourth morning in broad daylight—at least, it looked that way from the lighting. I knew immediately the episode had ended when I could feel my eyes open at my command. Almost afraid to try for fear of overdoing it and losing my control, I cleared my throat and spoke.

  “Computer, what time is it?” YES! I said it, not that thing.

  I AM NOT A THING! JUST BECAUSE I'M NOT SMART AND JUST BECAUSE YOU PLAY WITH ME ANY WAY YOU WANT DOES NOT MAKE ME A THING, DOES IT? UNLESS ... UNLESS YOU WANT ME TO BE A THING. THEN I WANT TO BE A THING, TOO. I WANT TO MAKE YOU HAPPY, BECAUSE I KNOW YOU'RE MY OWNER, AND THAT MY SUSIE ISN'T. I'M SO SORRY! I WON'T MAKE THAT MISTAKE...

  “The time is 0915."

  “Thank you.” I looked over at Susie's bed and saw it was empty and unmade. “Computer, please locate Corporal Lendler and request that she report to her quarters at her convenience. Inform her that Private Wyeth is asking for her."