Shards [Book Two] Read online

  “Excuse me. What's a Twenty Year Project Leader?” asked Thomas.

  “The credo of NATech in the twentieth and twenty-first centuries was ‘In Twenty Years.’ NATech developed imaginative scenarios of what society and technology would be like in twenty years. Using those models, we anticipated potential problems, challenges and advancements. Having identified them, we worked out possible solutions, answers and applications."

  “I see. And is it true you headed the Pisces project, the program that put genetically altered humans under the oceans to start a new society and race?"

  “Hum. Well, yes, it is true, Thomas. I originally conceived of the idea, though not at quite that scope initially, and was given approval to use the resources needed to develop the strategies. It was the last project that I worked on before I was accidentally electrocuted."

  “Oh! How awful!” gasped Rachel.

  “It wasn't too pleasant,” I agreed. “I don't remember anything after the accident. The next thing I do remember was coming to in Healer's Sleep, with Dr. Barrett talking to me."

  Thomas chuckled. “What a welcome! Hearing Phillip's stone gravel voice greeting you! That was probably worse than the electrocution. At least you don't remember that.” He looked at me with keen curiosity. “Since you seem to be in a talkative mood, I find myself very curious..."

  “About how I adjusted to the gender change?” I interrupted. He nodded. “At first I didn't notice, because I was in Healer's Sleep. After I woke up—"

  “Sorry to interrupt again, Abigail. But how did you manage to rouse yourself from Healer's Sleep?"

  I smiled at him and continued. “After I woke up, I still didn't notice. It wasn't until they caught me trying to escape and told me point blank I was a little girl that I did see.” I reached out and took Susie's hand. “It was Susie who kept me calm and sane enough to make the adjustment."

  “And what was the adjustment like?"

  I shook my head. “It's really hard to explain, Rachel. I can't give you a point of view that we share. You and I are both women, so I can't explain the change from being a man. Thomas is, and I was, male. So I can't explain to him the change to being a female. I've tried to express it in words before, but it's tough. I am just as much me now, as a female teenager, as I was when I was a full grown man. I suppose it's like looking back at yourself as a little girl, then as a young lady, then as a mature woman. All individual phases of your life, but always it was you, Rachel. It all felt, I don't know, natural. Yes, that's the word. It just felt natural for me to go from boy to teen to man to young girl. Although it's a unique path, it feels natural to me. The only real difference is that my change from John to Abigail was so abrupt. But it still felt—feels—right.

  “It has been a wonderful experience, though! To be able to go through life again, knowing as much as I do. But it's still a very new set of experiences. I'm not even going to tell you the muff ups I made the first few months. Even going to the bathroom the first time was an adventure. And convincing myself it's all right to wear a skirt. And a bra! Since I was already fourteen, I needed one right away. I almost choked myself the first time I tried to put it on! Now that was...” Susie cleared her throat, and I looked at her. She looked straight into my eyes, and I realized my goof. My ears burned red, and I stood and bowed to Thomas.

  “I am so sorry, Mr. Kovin! I was indelicate and improper. Please forgive me."

  He stared a moment, then laughed. Seeing how embarrassed I was, though, he did get to his feet and bow back, allowing me to straighten. Bowing out of respect had come from the Japanese culture of centuries before even my time. It had become such a distinguished and accepted form of greeting, apology and submission that by the twenty-second century the practice was universal. I had taken to it quickly. Done this way, it was no longer a question of masculinity but of respect and status. I preferred it, partially because it was so translatable, and partially because I was really lousy at curtsies.

  “Don't worry about it, Abigail. I'm the father of two daughters. Most of my life was spent listening to things like this. But I accept your apology. Please. Continue."

  “Well, that's pretty much it. I was just going to finish by saying that I'm continuing to change. Grow, rather.” I tapped my head. “I've never forgotten who I am. When I'm me, I mean. My ripes don't count. I don't know much about them and I don't want to know. What I have found out isn't pretty, so I'd just as soon not find out more.

  “Like I said, who I am isn't different, but how I see myself and others around me is constantly changing. A lot is because of experience. Some of it is because of my body chemistry. When I first woke up, I was a man in a girl's body. Within a few days, though, I began ‘settling in', as it were. As I became more and more used to seeing myself as Abigail, I started becoming Abigail. I didn't bother fighting the transformation of my being, my soul, from male to female. There was no point denying what I was. Every moment, every thought, every breath, was now as a young girl. The physical reality quickly began shaping my spiritual reality. Before long I couldn't fight it, nor did I want to. Being a girl made me want to keep being a girl. Now I'm a girl looking forward to being a woman. That's what I am and what I want to be, inside and out, heart and soul."

  “Have you considered gender resequencing?” Thomas offered. “It's done exclusively to the unborn now whenever gender multiplicity is detected, but I imagine the technology could be modified—” he tapered off at my head shake.

  “It wouldn't work because there is no gender multiplicity in me. There never was physically, and there isn't any more mentally.

  “In the twentieth century—the century I was born—the term for gender multiplicity was transgenderism, and there was no cure. Surgery to alter the body to match the brain's gender was available, but only after puberty, when most of the ‘damage’ was done. And it was expensive, risky, and ultimately artificial. Worse, society had little tolerance for the transgendered person—it wasn't until 2020 that they were given all the civil rights everybody else received at birth. Until then, they could remain the gender they'd been mislabeled as and be accepted by society but die inside, or they could seek treatment and gain a measure of peace and normalcy, but be damned by society for doing so. Essentially a Hobson's choice. Had I been in that position, then perhaps—” I shook my head again, this time as a mechanism to get back on subject.

  “Sorry. That's my little soapbox.” At their blank stares I added, “My pet peeve, the subject I'll gladly talk about. I studied it in detail shortly after being Cued, trying to get insight into my own situation.

  “But my situation is nothing like theirs. Yes, my mind is—was—male. But my body and brain have always been female, unlike a transgendered person, whose brain is one gender and whose body is the other. For me, having my mind and soul inserted into a female body made my mind and soul female as well. To undergo gender resequencing now would only create gender multiplicity."

  They wanted to understand. Oh, how much they wanted to understand! But they couldn't. Not even Susie fully understood, though she did more than anyone else. I was the only one who could, and I couldn't explain it. I had become better at trying to explain it. The first few times I'd tried, with some of my friends at the base, I had come off sounding like some sort of kinky pervert. At least now I sounded sane, but it didn't change the fact that mine was a unique case of natural change. Was that a contradiction in terms?

  I stood up and stretched.

  “I hope you don't mind, but I really want to get out. I've never been to town, and there's a bunch of stuff I want to do and try! May we be excused, please?"

  Thomas stood and dismissed us. Susie and I grabbed our things and climbed aboard the hov. Not ours, but the smaller one belonging to the Kovin's. It was a little runabout. It had no phase capability, so it was lighter, quicker, and best of all, had no top. We piled in and Susie started it up. I was licensed to operate this style of hov, but we wanted to keep things looking as normal as possible.

>   The Kovins were waving to us as Susie turned the craft and pointed it toward the narrow clearing that wound toward the road. Thomas walked up and placed his hands on the side of the craft.

  “You two girls take care. Stick to Phoenix and Mesa. Scottsdale is a rough place to go, and Glendale's worse. What time do you plan to be back?"

  I started to say sometime tomorrow afternoon. I had no intention of sleeping for the next thirty-six hours at least. Susie cut me off, though.

  “I don't imagine we'll be out later than nine or ten, Thomas."

  “Susie! You can't mean that! We've got shopping, sightseeing, hiking, swim—"

  “Stop whining. Like I said, about nine or ten. Take care.” She pulled us out at a quiet pace while I sulked beside her.

  I didn't sulk too long. I didn't have it in me, and it messed up my fun. Susie slipped us onto the glassmac and opened it up. The little buggy could really move. The windshield, which looked like it had been pried off an ancient 1950's style automobile, deflected enough air around us to allow shouting, but let enough in to blow our hair around. Mine, rather. Susie, in keeping with the style of the day, had short hair. I enjoyed the feeling, but didn't like it constantly getting in my eyes. So I tied in a couple extra orange hair ribbons, and it stayed put.

  I turned around to watch the land skim by as we made for Phoenix, nestled up against South Mountain and winding around to the Sierra Estrellas. The city numbered about fifty thousand, half the population of the valley. I could feel the excitement of exploration and new experience rising up in me.

  We were approaching the span that marked the Salt River, so I tugged on Susie's sleeve.

  “Could you slow down on the bridge?” I shouted over the wind. “I want to see if there are any swimming places as we go over. You know, for later.” She checked to be sure the proximity sensor was set, then nodded, and the craft slowed down.

  We crept out over the span, giving us a spectacular view into the river. There were a number of people enjoying the water, some on the shores, others tubing. I spotted a couple of wider, sandy areas upstream that were being used as primitive beaches. The Salt was flowing bright blue and crystal clear. Rachel had said that while they still dammed the river up in the Goldfield Mountains, there was far less demand for the water, so the river flowed constantly now, which kept the water clear.

  We reached the other bank and Susie picked up speed. Within a few minutes we had traveled the remaining ten kilometers and were entering Phoenix.

  It was nothing like the Phoenix I knew. Cities of this time had changed considerably, and Phoenix was no exception. Since hovercraft were the primary vehicle, they had little need for streets. There were several main thoroughfares, marked by their faint shimmer They were used for orderly entry and exit of the various divisions. =Other than those, there was little organization according to traffic. Instead, the city was set up according to terrain and need.

  We skimmed through the outskirts and made for the main complex, set at the western edge of South Mountain. A number of people were out and about, in hovs, on private scooters or just on foot. A few were even using horses. Horses! In this day and age! I could feel my heart racing as we began to blend in with the city.

  “Abby?” I turned away from my people watching.

  “Yes, Susie?"

  “I know I don't need to say this for your sake, but please let me say it for mine."

  “About my being a Cue?” I laughed. “That's okay, Susie. I don't mind. I can probably use the lecture anyway. Have at!"

  “Thank you. While we're out among the civilians, it's absolutely top priority to keep our identities quiet. Especially yours. Since you're a Cue, you have no rights whatsoever. We've been set up with solid identities and some credit—"

  “Really? How much credit?” My ears perked up. Susie's lectures could be boring. I thought the thought again and realized it was just my teenage attitude of superiority and know-it-all state of mind that made me want to tune her out. Knowing that from a mature point of view was easy, but disciplining myself to actually listen was very hard.

  “Enough. Don't go wild, or I'll put you on an allowance. So help me I will. I don't care if you're the smartest Cue this side of the twenty-seventh century or if you're the point man for Company A. You watch your spending! Our quarters are small enough without you cramming in more things."

  “Okay! I know. Now let's get out and walk around! There's a spot over there to park it."

  “Let me finish! Brat. Look, we can have a lot of fun in the next week. I'm not here to just baby-sit you, I'm here to get some R&R as well. But you must be careful, Abby! Don't let your knowledge slip out, or your history, especially your ancient phrases. They're always a dead giveaway. And whatever you do, don't fight!"

  “Get real, Susie! I didn't come all this way to fight somebody. But if it's brought to me, what can I do? A girl has to defend herself.” I patted the inside of my thigh. “That's why I brought along—"

  “What? You brought a gun? Give it to me this instant! You're not old enough to have a permit! OH! I'm going to kill Dusty when we get back! Let's have it."

  I was very tempted to argue with her, but kept enough of my good sense and obedience to do as she said. I pulled it free from under my skirt and handed it over. I couldn't resist one last try though.

  “So what do I do if we get in trouble, Susie? Cry?"

  She looked the gun over briefly and stored it in a secure compartment. We had come to a stop, but the sight/sound privacy shield was on.

  “Yes, as a matter of fact, you do. Look, Abby, I know you're better than I am in a fight—"

  “I'm lots better."

  “Listen! All right, you're lots better. But if you show any of your skills out here, it's over! You'll be spotted for what you are in a second. Both as a dog and as a Cue. There's no other way a girl your age can have your abilities. The local law is very tolerant of the Resistance. They'll even cover for us. But NATech is everywhere. You will get caught. And then I'll get caught.” She took a breath, then spoke slowly to drive home each word. “And then the Kovins will get caught."

  That blew the cool wind of reason over me. Susie and I could handle ourselves. Maybe Thomas and Rachel could handle themselves. But they lived here. If we messed up, they might escape, but at the cost of abandoning their home. I hung my head, suddenly sobered and more than a little ashamed.

  “I didn't even think of them! I'm sorry, Susie. You're right. I will be very careful. I promise. If we have any problems, I'll let you handle them."

  “Good!” She reached out a hand and lifted my chin. “Hey, no frowns, poppet! We won't have any problems, this is leave!"

  Cheered up—my emotional barometer made a roller coaster ride look like a lazy afternoon nap—we locked up the hov and headed for the mall.

  Shopping! I had little use for the experience back then. Go in, get it, leave. I had been very well paid by NATech so I didn't worry about price, just speed and convenience. I missed the whole point. The countless differences between then and now continued to amaze me.

  Whether it was the change of gender, my youth, or just the fact I hadn't had leave in forever, I don't know. But now I got the point. We wandered around from shop to shop in the market place. The idea of stores is pretty much unchanged over thousands of years. The malls now had reverted back to being individual shops located close together outside. This one was more of a marketplace than a mall. The desert terrain remained in the tight places between the shops, and there were also many open areas, private homes, eateries and desert parks. The entire area was treated with a faint cooling field, just enough to take the edge off the heat without affecting the native flora and fauna. It was the perfect place for two girls with time and credits to spend on relaxation. And Phoenix knew it, too.

  Phoenix was also the perfect place for a couple of Resistance dogs to spend their time and credits. NATech was the equivalent of Earth's government, but it in fact wasn't a government of any sort. They ru
led by might. The official power of government was in the hands of local municipalities. Due to massive emigration to the stars, the Terran/Martian Wars of three centuries ago, and the restrictions NATech imposed on immigration, the population on Earth had dwindled to a little less than one billion. NATech kept that number pretty well set, calculating it to be the greatest number they could have the greatest influence over with the least relative effort. Like a power-mad dictator, they didn't want to govern. They wanted to control.

  So each of the smaller governing areas, towns and cities mostly, took on the flavor and attitudes of their populations. Denver, London, Bonn, Sydney, Hetical, Raven, San Paulo, and many other cities, took on the flavor of NATech. Many more cities had neutral feelings about the conflict between NATech and the Resistance. And a few cities were openly in favor of the Resistance, but remained passively so. NATech couldn't bring punishment against the city without bringing unwanted attention to itself and its control.

  Phoenix was one of the latter cities. The people were very supportive of the Resistance, and their government reflected that. They reasoned that since NATech had placed themselves above the law, the law was not bound to serve NATech. In other words, what NATech had done to the Cue population, Phoenix did to NATech. If soldiers of the Resistance wanted to come to Phoenix, a blind eye and helping hand was turned to them. NATech received only the barest, minimal, required cooperation. As long as you didn't volunteer information, Phoenix didn't ask.